Last Thursday night, we were at Bar Italia with our friends from the Big Read. We met lots of nice people, enjoyed some wine and tasty appetizers and had the opportunity to talk about “How to Marry the Wrong Guy.” It never fails that several women (and men) will share their tales of “walking down the aisle knowing full-well it was a mistake.” Their stories can be funny or sad, shocking or even ho-hum. Sometimes it’s a little bit of all of those things. And yet they are all surprisingly familiar. Young or old, black or white, men or women—they cite the same eight or nine reasons for walking down the aisle into a mistaken marriage. We love to hear these stories—because it affirms our message and reminds us to keep talking about it!
Another question we inevitably hear is, “How do you know when you are with the right person?” Telling people “you will just know it,” is not the answer they are looking for. (Although it is the truth—they want more.)
This is where Beverly comes in. She is living proof that being with the right guy can make all the difference in the world. We met Beverly at Bar Italia. She was a beautiful woman, dressed in bright red with a smile that lit up the whole room. She shared her story of a troubled first marriage—but then she started to glow when as she began talking about her current husband. You could tell by looking at her that she was with the right guy. They have been married for 15 years and she says that are still buddies. “He is a wonderful man and we are just right for each other. I keep waiting for that feeling to go away…but it never does.” She was a lovely and gracious woman—one of those people that you gravitate to. Would she radiate happiness if she were stuck in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship? No! When you are with the right person, it’s not only obvious to you; it’s also evident to everyone around you.
On a final note–we also met several HAPPILY single women, too. They were out and about enjoying a good time looking equally radiant. Why? Because they are doing what is right for them. They are fully living their life as single women rather then clinging to a bad boyfriend for fear of being alone.
So how do you know when you are with the right guy or girl?
• You bring out the best in each other, not the worst
• You both appreciate each other’s authenticity allowing each other to be autonomous and together at the same time
• You appreciate all the parts that make your partner whole without expectation of needing him to change or vice versa
• You each do thoughtful things for one another without asking for anything in return (or keeping score!)
• When you talk about him or he talk about you, your faces light up the room like Beverly’s did
Jen and Anne at Bar Italia--are we glowing? Can you tell that we are married to the right guys?
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