Catch a Tiger By It's Tail

Another week and another celebrity husband has been caught cheating on his wife. It’s not a new story. Husbands cheat on their wives all of the time (and vice versa). So why are we so intrigued by the drama unfolding in the Woods’ household? Maybe we are curious how this all-American boy that we hold so high on a pedestal can fall from grace. He has it all: a beautiful wife and child, a lucrative career, anything that money can buy. The world is at his beck and call. Here is why we are all so curious -why would you risk everything to have an affair? Now, granted, we do not know what went on behind closed doors with this couple. And as a couple’s therapist, I will be the first one to tell you that appearances are often not what they seem when it comes to relationships. But I do know this: cheating is never a solution to your problems. Cheating is a way to give up on your relationship or marriage without putting in the effort to figure out what is going wrong. People who cheat will say things like, “I wasn’t getting what I needed from her, so I found it somewhere else.” They blame the other person in the relationship for their choices and actions. “If we had sex more often I would not have gone outside our marriage.” I just heard a quote today from a woman who is a lawyer and divorce mediator. She said, “A man is as faithful as his character is strong.” How true! There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Couples who have been married for any significant amount of time will tell you that each relationship has it’s ups and downs. So how will your guy behave in those down cycles? Does he possess that strong character? How will you even know? Take a look at his character now. You want to be with a man who:
1. Is an honest man in all areas of his life.
2. Talks to you respectfully when issues come up.
3. Does not have an attitude of “boys will be boys.”
4. Is not afraid to admit his mistakes.
5. You can trust without any doubt.
Don’t believe that all men are cheaters and don’t expect that it will happen to you. Have higher standards for yourself and your relationship! And remember, he may seem perfect. He may offer you a life that you have always dreamed of with a mansion in Orlando and a Cadillac Escalade in every color. But are all of those things worth it if you can’t count on him to do the right thing?