Here is an excerpt from our upcoming book. We asked now-divorced women to describe their feelings as they were preparing to walk down the aisle.
Picture yourself in a little chapel, or synagogue, or glorious cathedral. You are a bride. You are minutes away from saying “I do,” but you really want to scream, “No, no, I don’t!” Your heart is racing and you’ve got butterflies in your stomach — and they’re not the good kind. You are freaking out. You know you are about to marry the wrong man. What’s going through your mind?
I kept listening for the music — and the ushers never opened the door. I finally pushed it open myself, like it was a grand performance. I walked down the aisle looking at all of my friends and family whom I did not want to disappoint. At the reception I thought — “Oh my God, what have I done?” I realized I had no emotional attachment to this man.
I was avoiding my dad’s eyes as I waited with him at the end of the aisle — I did not want to hear any “pearls of wisdom.” Instead I paid attention to the photographer — I simply could not look at my dad because I knew I was making a mistake.
I was scared to death. I wanted to turn around and run — it felt so surreal, like it was something I was watching and not a part of.
I barely remember the wedding ceremony; it was very simple and it was not special. We didn’t even have a honeymoon. I did what I thought I deserved at the time. I was totally settling.
And so we begin with what’s often the best-kept secret at the wedding. What is it? It’s that the bride knew her marriage was a mistake as she was walking down the aisle. That’s right, at the church or the synagogue or the wedding chapel — she already knew her marriage was not going to work.
That’s just a little teaser for you. What’s really amazing is that this happens all the time. After all of our interviews and research, we estimate that close to one-third of all divorced women can look back on their wedding day and admit, “I knew it was a mistake as I was walking down the aisle.”
Our book unveils the universal reasons why smart women marry the wrong guy. We look forward to sharing them with you. Anne & Jen
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