Jennifer and I both loved the book, Eat, Pray Love. While I don’t agree with everything Elizabeth Gilbert has to say about marriage, I do agree that far too many women confuse “weddings” with marriage. They are so focused on the party, they forget about the relationship.
Below is an excerpt from Ann Patchett’s interview of Elizabeth Gilbert that appeared in the January 2, 2010 Wall Street Journal. This idea of being chosen came up repeatedly in our interviews. For the entire WSJ article, click here:
AP: Many people confuse weddings with marriage, or they don’t think past the wedding to the marriage. What are your feelings about weddings and how do they figure into the bigger picture of marriage?
EG: “I think this is a particular trap for women—especially young women of the romantic variety, which is to say: young women. I myself have never been enchanted by the dream of the white wedding, and, heaven help us, the expectation that this exquisitely catered event should be “the happiest moment” of one’s life. But I did ask a number of my heartsick single female friends about this very question, and one of them gave me a truthful and illuminating answer: The fantasy of the wedding day is that it represents undeniable public and private truth that you have been chosen. For that one day, you are the most valuable creature in the world—a treasure, a princess, a prize. For many women, who have never felt chosen or desirable or precious, this is an unshakable yearning. And I’m afraid many women do choose the wedding over the marriage. It seems a steep price to pay, but it comes from a place of deep, sad longing to be loved and to have it proven that you are of value.”
What do you think?
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