We totally get (and respect) the fact that not every woman on the planet intends to be a mom. We also totally get the fact that you don’t need a man, merely his “donation” to get pregnant and raise a baby in this new world. However, if your life’s intention is to find a man, marry said man and procreate with said man, we have some thoughts to share. It seemed appropriate to have such a conversation with you given that Father’s Day is less than a week away!
When we ask twenty-somethings to describe the most important qualities they are looking for in a man, we get these typical responses:
- Someone who is attractive, someone you have physical chemistry with
- Ambitious
- Has a good sense of humor
- Respectful to others
- Honest
You know the typical list. Having such a list will hopefully offer clues about his character. But we would encourage you to add one more quality to your list:
- WILL BE A GOOD FATHER TO OUR CHILDREN
We know it’s hard to look that far out into the future, especially if you are in the romantic fog of a new relationship, engagement or wedding planning. But this is a really important question you should ask yourself: What kind of dad will he be?
- Will he be the kind of dad who runs to Walgreen’s at 2 am for Pedialyte so you can stay with a sick child?
- Will he clean up barf from the hallway when your toddler just couldn’t make it to the bathroom?
- How do you think he would handle a dinner table filled with noisy children and spilled milk?
- What is his patience factor?
- Is he a workaholic who will most likely miss events like Little League and Scouts?
Are you OK with any or all of the above? If not, then try to imagine what your life will look like in all of the chaos which will fall squarely on your shoulders. Now try to paint a different picture. Same scenarios, same chaos, but with someone who will be there to support you, to weather the storms with you, who will still find you sexy with no make-up and a jelly-stained t-shirt! A man who you can count on, who will have snowball fights in the back yard with your children, who will take the time out of their busy schedule and sit at a swim meet for three hours even though your kid comes in last place in every event, cheering them on as though they are competing for a gold medal. How about a guy who can cradle a baby in his arms and sing silly songs to help them get to sleep. Are you with a guy like this? Do you want to be with a guy like this? If not, what is stopping you?
I saw those red flags but in that time i tough that what really counts is how he was with me; i was so wrong..i could save my self of so many bad moments and not to stay just because i had done a compromise with him, i can´t remember any time been so lonely still i got married ,funny isn´t?, He never give me a break even during divorce process, so now i wanna know if u have a book to teach me how to re-build or make a new life after he ruined me finantially and emotionaly speaking.I use to be so happy persone and now i find myself in a hard road to start again.