10 Dating Lessons for Girls heading off to College

As you leave high school and head off to college, it’s important to remember that college is a “whole new ballgame” when it comes to dating.  As Eleanor Roosevelt once said: Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

We asked recent college grads to share their advice for incoming freshmen girls on what to do, what NOT to do, and what to watch out for as they start college:

Alcohol + guys = regrets the next day. ALWAYS!

College is a time to find yourself and learn more about yourself.    Make sure to make good friends before even starting to look for a boyfriend.  They will be able to help you and be there for you when you have relationship problems.

Be careful at the frat houses! The boys can be very sleazy and they can talk just as much as girls. You will develop a reputation really quickly after “shacking up” at the frat houses.

Enter college single! And stay single! At least for the first year. It is important to establish a solid group of friends (male and female) and despite what you may think, being in a relationship definitely impairs that ability.

If you have a boyfriend and are going away to school and so is he, then you have to really trust him.  If you have any doubt, then break up with him.  You can always still talk to him and stay in touch, but date around and have fun.  I do not think the beginning of college (freshman and sophomore year) is a good time to have a serious relationship.  If you are going away to college and your boyfriend is staying in town, watch out.  He may be bored and overly needy.  It is time for you to make friends and meet new people.  You might need to leave him behind.

Sex is a big deal and even more so for girls than guys.  Even if you think it won’t affect you, it will.  Sex will not make a boy like you more nor will it make him stay with you. So many of my friends have had sex just for the attention from guys.  In they end they wonder why the guy doesn’t like them or want to date them.  Challenge a boy.  Make him wait and see you as more than something just “sexual.”  Show yourself that you deserve better than a guy who is just looking for a hook up.

Focus on yourself and your studies and don’t worry about finding a guy, because as soon as you’re not trying, that’s when you will find someone. Also, any freshmen guy you meet is 9 times out of 10 not ready to be in a committed relationship with ANYONE so don’t take it personally if he doesn’t want to be with you.

Once you begin having sex, future relationships are likely to advance physically much more quickly.  Be careful not to lower your standards in this respect simply because the territory is no longer unknown.

Sex does not make a boy like you, and you should never think you have to have sex to get a guy back.

Remember that most of the people you meet in college are taking advantage of the newfound freedom associated with the college lifestyle.  Don’t feel pressured to do things you’re uncomfortable with just because others are excited about doing it.  I would also encourage girls who are entering college to spend some time getting to know themselves in this new setting before they consider looking for a romantic relationship

This is unfiltered, unedited and uncensored advice from the graduating class of 2010. Learn from their mistakes so you don’t have to the same ones. Knowledge is power. If you are aware of the pitfalls, you will have a better chance for a happier and healthier college experience.

Now it’s your turn: What mistakes did you make? What would you advise incoming freshmen girls? We’d love to hear your thoughts!